w/o Hole

Yesterday was fun :D Went out with Nat, Lii, Bell and Josh. Had Starbucks. Thanks to Nat. I was hyperVENTIlating. Hahahahaha. My jokes are so lame you guys have to pretend it's funny. We didnt't get to sit down and enjoy the coffee. Instead, we walk around and stalk mercuries(?). Yeah. I swear after that look from that guy in white yesterday my life is over. Sooooooover. At least my social life is. Nat says she doesnt have one. Yeah right. She goes to the hot school almost everyday. Like how social is that? Sheesh. I don't think I need a social life. A few close friends and the rain and coffee and oxygen is all I need. Yes, it is all I need. Friends, Rain, Coffee and Oxygen. (some people might not even get what Im talking about but I dont really give s.hit)

Oh btw, I have like two Christmas sleeves now. Yay. Why don't they have one for Hari Raya? Ooohhh some more crap about yesterday's outing, pink shirt!!!! I love the pink shirt. I thought it would look really ugly on me but it actually looks okay. Like not horrible okay. I have to get it. Eventhough it's an XL I dont care. Please people if you love me, do not buy the pink shirt. Okay okay? Thank you. Unless you're buying it for me of course :D

B. Issue
Heh. I don't know. I'm not even sure if it's an issue. Idk. B. Peace? 2009's Resolutions? Yeah maybe. Gahhh. I don't really want to talk about this.

So I was reading new moon and it hit me. Real hard. You know that hole she was talking about. I felt that hole once. Now I can actually describe how I really felt. Meyer described Bella's feelings so well. So well that I felt it. I felt it again. And I shouldnt have.

You know how she tries to put herself in danger. Yeah, that. I feel that. Though it's a little different. I think the reason I would want to seek for adventures and danger is because the possible physical pain you might get is so much better than the hole. It distracts you from the hole.

The smell of her pain. It was so familiar. So disturbing. I hate that pain. And I need nothing to remind me of it. Pathetic Sara, she doesn't even know it. Pathetic. Pathetic.

On the funny side, (okay not funny just something less painful and depressing) Stephenie Meyer listened to Linkin Park and Brand New while writing her books. Maybe that's why I am so attracted to her writings. The way she makes me feel when I hear her thoughts through her characters. You know what would be better? Sad endings. Now, that will hit me.

Real life.

No romance. No vampires.