dont read this if you are happy!

I feel like singing out loud.

"When I turn the lights out
When I close my eyes
Reality overcomes me
I'm living a lie
When I'm alone I feel so much better
And when I'm around you I don't feel together!"

: (

I really am not happy. I can't pretend by writing down about happy crappy stuff. I'm just not happy. I love the rain. Thank you for washing away all my pain.

"Let the rain fall down and wake my dreams
Let it wash away my sanity
Cause I wanna feel the thunder I wanna scream
Let the rain fall down
I'm coming clean
I'm coming clean"

I know, I'm a sucker for all this pop songs. But really, I love the Come Clean video. Hilary looks so pretty and and the rain. Wow. The rain.

And mummy, I love you. I'm sorry I'm not the best daughter. I'm sorry I'm not what you wanted me to be.But you hurt me real bad.

What if I suck real bad in P.M.R.? Peperiksaan Menengah Rendah? Sounds important to me. I saw the tears from my brother's eyes, I know it will hurt real deep even though I'll flunk a subject. Let's just not think about that shall we.
(Sara's dictionary; Flunk= B)

Sleeping early is depressing. You close you eyes. You think and think and think and cry. Why?
Being alone is depressing. You look around. You think and think and think and cry. Why?
Lying down with a laptop on you and typing all the things dancing in your mind is depressing. You try to reply IMs. You think and think and think and hold your tears. Again, why?

I know why and I am trying real hard to not follow the nature's heart. Let it help you go through your misery and you'll be just fine, Sara. You'll be just fine.

Dad called. He is having fun in Genting Highlands and I can hear Adib screaming in the background laughing saying, 'Kesian Sara'. Fuck. Damn you. Thanks Dad, for trying to comfort me though it just gets worst. He said, next time it'll be just you and me. It sucks how sweet he can be.

I AM NOT CRYING.

...

Shut up eyes!

Oh yeah, thank you Nadiya. I love you. Thanks for cheering me up. I bet we're gonna have a good time later. I'm still craving for another Java Chip Frapp. And oh yeah, linking from Starbucks to Airport to people I met. I saw Adzim at the airport. It's nice to see someone from school. Makes me feel good. I think he's sending his cousins to Hong Kong or something, at least that's what I heard. Like I said I was too busy walking away from my family and just trying to walk real fast towards Starbucks. I really spend a lot when I'm upset. I mean a lot. Stupid money.

I cant wait for Friday! :) and that's really a sincere smile.

And oh yeah Hafiy, I'm no angel. Thanks for the compliment anyways.

So Liyana, regret reading this? I hope not.

"We are born innocent
Believe me we are still innocent
It's easy we all falter
But does it matter?"

No, I don't think it does. Do you?

One thing's for sure....

"My skin is like a map
of where my heart has been
And I cant hide the marks
But it's not a negative thing
So I let down my guard
drop my defenses down by my clothes
I'm learning to fall
with no safety net to cushion the blow"

Oh yes baby, I fucking bruise easily. So please be gentle when you handle me. There's a mark you leave like a love heart carved on a tree. But no you didn't handle me well. Like the way you left those fingerprints on a glass of wine. Do you know you're leaving them all over mine too?

The rain stopped. Shit.
Shit shit shit shit shit.

There's this survey right and it says, would you prefer nice arms or stomach on a guy? Like duh. I'm up for the nice abs.

Shit Why Am I Telling You This!?

And oh yeah Nat if you're reading this, I wanna say thanks for the shit girl. Appreciate it. And and and and read your comment I have like a long list of what I want from you :) yes yes I'm smiling. It felt awkward though its like my face is not used to it. Ahaha rite. Shitload crap much.

Mum didn't call : (
I miss her. Bet she's having fun. Blah. Shut up Sara.

I think this is it. The end. Astaluego people. I love coffee.
Good Morning My Friends!!